Facebook.

Let's just say I procrastinated writing this because of Facebook, and I don't know how I feel about that.

I have struggled with a "love/hate" relationship with Facebook every since I signed up for the nation sweeping life sucking social networking program. I find myself hating Facebook and everyone on it, but just not enough to let it go and delete everything. I often make the excuse that my pictures are on there, and not all of those pictures are on my computer, or in my possession at all, so I can't get rid of it. I've also tried use the "keeping in touch with friends and family members" one, but really the only people I write with on Facebook are in my phone anyway. But yet I just can't bring myself to do it. Why is this?

Even knowing that I spend so much energy and time in a little thing like Facebook (like writing a blog about it...hmm...) makes me hate/love it even more.....I mean, IT'S JUST FACEBOOK!
but it's not...just Facebook now, is it....

I tried doing things to lessen my hate for "teh facebooks" like, delete people I'm not really great friends with (but they found a way back on my page anyway), or not check it as much that way its a pleasant surprise to check it out every few days (but it was slightly overwhelming....and crept back into my daily life again).

Facebook went from a simple way to pass the time now and then and check notifications, to a life sucking trend that people of all ages can't simply live without. I see this happening to many people.

How often do you complete a task on the inter-webs/computer and immediately type "f" in your web browser bar and then key "enter" and it automatically sends you to Facebook. Or maybe you have it under your "favorites" in the customized bar up top. OR MAYBE you simply open up a tab because Facebook is your home page. Why not?? you go there everyday anyway, right? It's a sort of reward, "finish this paper, and then I can go on Facebook for a bit.."

It's gone from bumper stickers and college students, to people of all ages, support groups, and games.

Games that are so addicting and consuming that people neglect their families and Infants over.

The business world has taken Facebook in it's clutch and moved forward like they were taking over the world. Advertisements on the side are on par with things you are "interested in" or things that you google. Businesses not only have their own webpages that you can "like" but they have their employees notify "friends" of their specials, and why they should come to their place of employment. I can't even tell you how many times I see feeds similar to this "Half price tattoos guy's, come on down!" or "Happy Hour 3-6, come see me!!" "VIP tickets to tonights event, text me!" or "50 cut and color at our shop, fix those roots ladies".

People use Facebook to spy on one another, and others use Facebook to gossip about their lives leaving personal information in status updates or info boxes.

Some use it straight up for attention, posting new pictures daily, status updates every few hours (or minutes....) stating exactly what they are doing/thinking, etc., etc.

You know it's bad when the 60 year old gentleman at the bar has been checking his Facebook all night, or when a new phone is coming out...a Facebook phone.

Facebook, like everything else, changes and evolves and changes.

And I despise it, so...
Why can't I let it go?

Anyone else have these similar feelings? Or am I crazy?

I think the next "cool trend" will be deleting Facebook.
girls in high school :  "Oh no, I deleted my Facebook. I have better things to do"

The good people in the world.....

I am a people observer.....or just an observer in general really.

and I love to sit back and watch people, animals, etc. and how they react to situations or complete simple everyday tasks. 

In doing this, I constantly find myself saying "the good people in the world today are   ___________" (the blank being whatever it might be that day that I found interesting and special)

So I decided, why not blog about it. 

Sometimes I am included in the good-people-in-the-world group....but mostly not. And that's okay. 

So on this bright and shiny San Diego morning....okay afternoon...

The good people in the world are cleaning their windshield while filling their tanks with gas. 

(kind of lame, I know. But sometimes they are more interesting)

I am not included in this group today. Maybe because I am not going to fill up my tank.

or maybe because I never do that. 

Maybe I should start.

Stay tuned for more good people in the world tasks.

Progress!

I have made progress on the blog!

As you can see, I picked a background that somewhat resembled the high tide with the ocean and the moon. This wasn't just a layout that I just picked and copy-pasted the code into the thingy either. I actually some-what customized it! Sqeeeee!

I couldn't be more happy with how it turned out.

Now I have to find some widgets, maybe add some pictures, and maybe somehow customize the title of the blog. But who knows....I might just leave that the same.

Once again, advice on those things would be great! What widgets do you use? How do you like them??

A whole lot of...Nothing.

I wish I were writing this post with a update on up and coming exciting news/adventures. Or a new piece of creative writing, or a new portion of my book-thing.

but lack of inspiration= lack of motivation
and lack of motivation= lack of writing
and lack of all these things= lack of self worth
...but who's counting?

So alas, I opened this blank page empty handed.

"So.....why are you even writing this post?"  - You may be asking your self.

And the answer simply is: It has been too long. It has been too long since a new post, or even since inspiration has struck. So I am turning to YOU to help me...which may be difficult since I really don't even know who "You" is. (are? is? ....hmmm)

Everyday (ish) I read blogs from bloggers who refurbish furniture, build their own beds, install spice cabinets into their walls, take family portraits, etc. Reading these makes me feel inspired, but yet worthless at the same time. Granted, I live in an apartment, so home renovating won't be happening for many moons. And I don't have multiple babies to sew diaper gene covers for like many of my High school colleagues do (Don't get me wrong..I am very thankful that I do not have to do that). So really, I don't have much to work with.

And it's already a task in itself (for me) to maintain my 2 bedroom apartment along with my busy work schedule at a bbq sports bar/restaurant.............. pathetic excuse, I know.

So I have decided, my next "project" is to update my blog. And by update I mean get a new background, add some of those cool pictures or buttons on the right hand side, and have a little intro/picture/title thingy at the top or the blog that all the cool people have. Now considering I am nowhere NEAR as Internet/Computer savvy as I should be, (which is 100% my fault considering I fall into the 'technology generation' category and I should know how to create a website and download illegal music, or at least create an organized list in Excel.) this may be a little bit difficult.

So I thought to myself "I used to put backgrounds and pictures and stuff on my profile on Myspace...so I can do this!". After a little research, I am clearly wrong. Not to mention I am picky as hell. BUT I am determined to do this on my own (and by "on my own" I mean, not having someone do it for me, which is what I usually do. Helpful hints, and tips...and tutorials would be FANTASTIC!). I have some inspirational and interesting ideas in my head...and since the title of this blog is The High Tide and I want it to be kind of dark and mysterious-ish...I was thinking something kind of like this.....

or this....

Now remember...these are just inspirations. It doesn't have to be EXACTLY LIKE THESE PICTURES. Soooo basically what i'm getting at with this big huge rant is...INSPIRE ME! Tell me what you think, give me ideas...help! thanks. 

UPDATE: After doing "extensive" research today, and going through pages and pages of already made templates, and websites explaining how to create you own (which seemed like a foreign language btw) I feel like it is impossible and I want to give up. Which is how I feel about everything that has to do with technology if I don't understand it within the first fifteen minutes. I will keep trekking through it though. I suppose. 

Live and Learn

Live and Learn, it is a phrase that is heard over and over again, but it is obvious many people don't really LISTEN to it.

It makes sense: You learn from your mistakes, your adventures, and as you grow older.

But yet, it's the end of the world if something does not go someone's way. (myself included)

I think it is important to truly understand how to live and learn, and not take things too personally. I am still working on it.

I was re-reading some of the first posts on this blog which made me want to:
1. Bang my head into the keyboard.
2. Go through all the posts and fix ALL my incorrect grammar. (I still have incorrect grammar, but not THAT bad)
3. Spend a few hours revising each post, so they made more sense, were more clear, and were...well...just better.

But then I realized how ridiculous that was and that the blog really showed how much I have grown (which isn't THAT much....but still). I have written a lot of articles, and personal things since I started this blog and it is interesting to see how my writing has changed.

Also, recently I was tearing myself apart about not knowing what I want to do with my life. "Wow, I graduated from college and have NO IDEA what I want to do in life" I said. Jason patiently told me over and over that I'm only 21, and I shouldn't even be thinking about these things. It took me a while to realize just how right he was.

Now this doesn't mean, be a super slacker and lay around doing nothing every day. You should be trying things out and exploring to help yourself along the road called life. But it is nothing to fret over, you will figure it out in time.

And then I came across this picture.....

Which them reminded me of my favorite inspirational song/video/speech ever! I heard it for the first time when I was about 10 or 12 or so on one of my mom's random c.d's on a road trip. Every time I am getting down about things, this song finds a way to resurface in my life, and I love it to pieces. So much in fact....That I will post it on here. I do hope that you watch it. I will post the lyrics too at the very end of this post. (because it is that good)





My PERSONAL advise for the day is........

so in conclusion....live and learn...but mostly, just LIVE!

Video Lyrics:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be 
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by 
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable 
than my own meandering 
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not 
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. 
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and 
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before 
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you 
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as 
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing 
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that 
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm 
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with 
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes 
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with 
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you 
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your 
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they 
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year 
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe 
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky 
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t 
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your 
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, 
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people 
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever 
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for 
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the 
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you 
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and 
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you 
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live 
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will 
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize 
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were 
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, 
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one 
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will 
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who 
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of 
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the 
ugly parts and recycling it for more than 
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

A New Semester

Many people measure their lives by semesters. 

"Ah, i'll do it next semester"

"I can hang out more after this semester"

"I can't wait till Fall semester is over, so that I can start Spring semester and have warmer weather" 

"A few more weeks left in this semester and then FREEDOM...and then we start next semester"

Of course, you only really think in these terms if you are a college student, or *sometimes* a strict high school student of some crazy sort. The rest of the world goes on living month to month, season to season. Enjoying random Tuesdays, President's day's, and other things that normal people enjoy....I wouldn't really know.

So speaking of ....next semester, I always find myself being Mrs. Organized right before a semester starts. I have all my books ordered, my papers straightened out in a binder, my bike tuned up, and I'm ready to roll. 

This of course only lasts for about a week. (excluding the weekend)

After that week: my books are out of stock at one place, and I forget to reorder them else where, papers get thrown in the car, dance bag, backpack, purse, OR (if i'm lucky) loosely in the binder, I decide to ride my bike in flip flops down the icy roads of Flagstaff causing my foot to get stuck under a pedal and break my toe which THEN leads to my bike sitting outside and the seat gets ruined/stolen, I stop reading the assigned chapters/readings. Basically all hell breaks loose, and I find myself desperately trying not to drown in the havoc, and longingly await next semester where I swear things will be different.

BUT NOT THIS SEMESTER!! This semester will go according to plan. (maybe)


And I wish you all a fabulous (end of Fall/beginning of Spring) semester as well, whether or not your organization skills are similar to mine.

Now some of you (and by some I mean the 1 1/2 people who read this blog) might be thinking "Wait?.....Didn't you just graduate, like the semester before last?" (see what I did there.... :D)

and the answer is: Yes! I did indeed graduate the semester before last, and there is yet another semester before me. For what? Only time will tell....'tis a mystery. 

speaking of "tis"

'tis the season I suppose...and our tree is up! But without the star because I am unable to find an extension cord. epic fail. 

that.is.all

RE-ASSESS!

In 'The School of Education' you constantly hear the word "re-assess". 
If you're falling behind in you lesson plans this week.... RE-ASSESS!
If the agenda for a child planned at the IEP meeting isn't working.....RE-ASSESS!
If you are teaching a math lesson and children are staring at you blankly........RE-ASSESS!


If none of this is making any sense to you, I will put it into different terms. 


Your plan to stick up to the bully at school and speak you mind lands you in a trash can.......RE-ASSESS!
No one comments on your obvious new hair style.....RE-ASSESS!
You tell your dog to "sit" and he jumps up and licks your face........RE-ASSESS!


okay, you get the point......
So to re-assess means to revise something. To go back, and redo it. Reteach it, edit it, or....scrap it and it's back to the drawing board, because obviously it is not working out as well as you planned.


I think it is time to re-assess some things in my life. 


On another note...I have a little something to share. It is something I have been working on a little bit. It is no where near what I want it to be yet. It needs A LOT of editing....revising....maybe its time to re-assess? just kidding. enjoy:

I walked in by myself with my tight gray t-shirt and converse and looked for someone I knew. The crowd was thick but I managed to spot the skinny soccer girl from my calculus class sitting near the front row. She was pretty cool, definitely the person I talked to the most in that class, so I headed that way. I didn’t notice who she was sitting with until I was almost right by her. It was too late to turn around, she already saw me. Time slowed down and my heart pounded harder in my chest. People in the bleachers were constantly standing up and down to cheer for their son, or boyfriend, or wanna be boyfriend, but they were all a blur to me.

“Hey Miles, how’s it going” calculus girl said with her smirk smile. I couldn’t quite remember her name.

I didn’t respond for what seemed like ages. I was still breathless, like someone had punched me in the stomach. The half time buzzer brought me back to reality.

“Hey. It’s good I think” I eventually responded

“You think? Ha ha! Oh this is my friend Kira”

I know. I know that is Kira. Fuck. I had legitimately put her in the back of my mind, but it was all coming back now. Why? Why was she here at our school watching our basketball game? I was pretty sure she didn’t even go here, or I would have seen her by now for sure. At first I thought maybe she was a new kid or something, but I hadn’t seen her around at all. And now she is with calculus girl?! Seriously the widest variety of friends I have ever seen.

“Yea we’ve met” Kira said without looking away from the court, even though the basketball players were now filing off into the locker room. She seemed concerned.

“Really? How did you guys meet? I met Kira up on the mountain last winter” Calculus girl said sort of directed at me. Her name's Shelly I was pretty sure.

“Uh…..well we met at a concert. Kira was with these two girls that go to West Point. I know them from other concerts and such” My voice trailed, Kira still hadn’t looked up. She hated me, I figured.

I sat down next to Shelly. We talked a bit about our recent homework assignment while Kira sat there saying nothing. She had moved her concentration to writing some phrase on the side of her shoe in small letters and black ink. Eventually a couple other girls that I knew Shelly was friends with from the soccer team came over. I moved to the bench below everyone and scooted over a little so they could sit by her. The second half of the game was already into full swing and I pretended to be interested. Kira slid down to the bleacher I was sitting on and scooted closer to me. She sat there for a few silent seconds then looked at me.

“Wanna go get nachos?” she said still seeming kind of off.

“Sure” I replied

“We’ll be right back” she said to Shelly as we were already walking away.

“Okay!” she yelled back in her peppy voice.

We didn’t say anything while walking up to the snack bar line. I felt like it was the green mile. I had this feeling in my stomach that I thought would slowly eat away my insides and my face was probably on fire.

“Like jalapeños?” she asked before the lady scooped the biggest spoonful of them I had ever seen on top of our nachos.
“What? Uh..Yea, I love them” I replied

“Good” she took the nachos and paid. She started walking toward the double doors instead of the gymnasium.  “Let’s go for a walk”

Don't be too harsh...but tell me what you think!