it happened again.

And the world has wisked another away. falling into the 'deps of society' and losing touch of the little things. I remember staying in my car to finish a good song, driving around the block with my friends on a school night was the best.thing.ever., a glass of sweet tea, a good dance class, remembering I have a candy bar in my purse, and many many other small things (smaller than those even) that would change my world around each and every day.  A single small things would automatically put a smile on my face while taking me into an alternate reality for the rest of the day.

You think you will always be pleased this easily.

but it begins to change.  Today a white limo was parked outside our little condos. OUR little condos in our little neighborhood. like, What On Earth?? Who i am....was...who i thought i was would have shreiked at the sight of this and thought about it for hours on end.  How cool was it that I saw a limo today, not only driving but PARKED on my road. that woulda blew my mind. But thats not what I thought.  The first thing I thought was who the HELL is parked so close to my covered spot. after this long day..... like wtf? i'm not like that am I?

I used to count things. to pass the time.  I would count telephone poles, every stair of every staircase I crossed, anything just to keep myself thinking.  Now I have to much 'real world' to think about that I cant even think about things I WANT to think about.

When did this change come on? i'm not sure. Why? also not sure. Do I hate people who ask themselves questios just to answer themselves like Kate Gosslin? yes.

In conclusion. I am not all the way gone. so maybe i'll pull back.  Like a Yankees Dodgers game in the bottom of the 9th inning 4 to 5, 2 strikes, bases loaded.

Christmas Children

Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were a little kid. Like REALLY remember??? When as soon as December hit, it felt like a whole other year before Christmas would get here.  Each and every day was the longest day, and the month dragged on forever.  A child on Christmas never has to worry about finances around the holidays, they go with dad to buy moms presents, and mom to buy dads present, and maybe gather up a couple dollars to buy them a candy bar as a surprise.  The holiday travel worries never cross their mind, they just go where everyone else goes, and don't even think about it.  They don't need to decide which family to visit, when, what gifts, nope! they just open and enjoy.  And what about baking!!! baking is not a stressful activity where you have to make enough cookies with enough variety to make a cookie plate for every single person you know(because heaven forbid you forget someone).  You simply make cookies for Santa. Santa is the only reason to make cookies, point blank.  The tree, to a child, is put there to zone out into every night, and shake each and every present and inspect them closely to guess every gift under there, even if its not for them.  To a child everyone is always happy around Christmas, as we know this it not really true, they think that solely because of the man they see all fourteen times they go to Safeway in December, who stands outside with his red bucket.  He smiles and says Merry Christmas, lets you ring his little bell, and gives you a huge smile as you slip a green piece of paper into his red bucket.  I mean, EVERYONE is happy around Christmas time right?

In conclusion, i realize that Christmas is pretty much just for little kids which is why I am happy to say that I am in the hospital RIGHT NOW, waiting for my beautiful sister-in-law to have baby Lily.  Another child to have fun on the Holidays with.  I cant wait to see her face when she opens presents, when she is laughing and running around, and of course when i teach her her first dance lesson. Oh Lily we cant wait to meet you.....TODAY!

just sayin.

Have you ever wondered why people start the carrerrs they do? Like what sparked their interest in these things? For example.  What, is a guy at a bar with his buddies, having some beers, 'shootin the shit' and whatever, and Ron just goes "ya know what guys....i'm gonna start a waste business.  Yep, thats right. I'm gonna go around and collect everyones trash!! like, EVERYONES then i'm gonna squish all together and put it somewhere.  Maybe bury it, maybe burn it, maybe just pile it up in the ocean, who knows, but thats what i'm gonna do! It will be great, we can get giant trucks to put everyones random garbage in, and it will all be ours! we can hire fellow trash lovers to help us it will be niiiiiccceeee"

Or what about a morgue.  Like I heard an advertisement for a mortuary on the radio today. Is that something you normally advertise for??? Like ah we gotta bury Grandpa today, which morgue should we choose? OOOO OO I saw a really good one on tv today! It has nice prices, plenty of tissues, and top of the line white rose caskets.  Then it made me thing, who would randomly open a morgue? Someones just like "Yes, i want a place where people are always sad, ALWAYS, and crying of course.  I want a collection of caskets, flowers everywhere, and we will put people into the ground all along my property.  It will be just lovely.  Thank god for the people who do think this way, i suppose in a funny way, but I cant imagine it.
I know some people work at these places, because its all they can find, or it pays good, or good hours, but who opens up these businesses? just sayin.

will we have a Lily for Christmas?!

As you know, the holidays and 'right around the corner'.  Almost exactly one year ago i posted a blog about how much I wasn't in the Christmas spirit, and how nothing around me put me in the Christmas mood.  This year is quite different.  Although I don't have NEAR as many decorations, or people being like "oooo christmas" every ten seconds, or even as much snow, I am in the mood to share the gifts, surprises (kinda), and time with my family.  I am also enjoying xmas with many new people this year who will be in my life forever.  Three of which are the best friends I could ever ask for, Jason (of course), Amy and Eddie.  Although I am so excited, I realize that xmas is a week and 3 days away, then it will be over.  Do you ever feel all that hype is a little.....over the top?, xmas shopping, wrapping, cards, cookies, decorations, money, money, monies!!! then you wake up on December 25th and its over. wild.  I cant wait to see how this one pans out.....shoot.  speaking of which, i need to (not only finish the xmas shopping) but FIGURE OUT what i'm getting everyone. eeeeexcellent.

Also, I have already come up with my New Years resolution. It is epic and in detail and I cannot wait to start it.  (in fact I may start early).  I suggest everyone start thinking of theirs, even in the holiday mumble jumble, or else you will find yourself on new years eve without one, and resort to one that is stupid, unplanned out, and impossible to complete like "lose weight" or w/e.  so get busy you!!! I will be waiting to hear what they are.

On another note, i simply CAN NOT WAIT for my new niece to arrive. like for reals. i cant wait. so on with the show Amy.... :) jk. although I know you would love the show to go on asap as well.  I have a niece and a nephew already, but they live in a completely different state as me, and i have seen my niece like once. wow. I can wait to watch my new niece, miss Lily, grow up just two.....yes TWO, streets down from me.  I will babysit her and teach her all my crazy dancer ways. heh heh heh. so the question remains......Will We Have A Lily For Christmas?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The rest of the blog is all just ranting:

Speaking of dance... I had a very interesting and fun show not too long ago.  I have a LOT of support there (thank you jay, mom, dad, amy, eddie) and a lot of people supporting in their heart.  I wasn't expecting it to be that fun of a show, it wasnt as big, i'm not in company blah blah. but seeing the reaction on the faces of the audience always makes any show worth while.  No matter the reason they are there. <3
I am also prospecting a new job in the dance world just down the street in my new little town of which I live.  I really REALLY hope this job pulls through.  I haven't wanted something this bad (of this context) in  a long time.

Had another one of those 'trips' today to phx.  yes, the orange vanilla sunscreen-like gloves and everything.  more disappointments like always. but someone said "its almost over don't worry" then went on to add "haha i know i know, everyone told me that in a different situation of mine, and it didnt make me feel better" but the fact that they added that part DID make me feel better, so thank you. It will be over soon enough. and all will be well ta ta for now.

do you ever....

Do you ever find the perfect present for someone. the PERFECT present.  Like all these years around christmas time, you had spent hours looking for a present this person would at least like, or find use of, and you the found the perfect one..... but then you remember they passed away a little while back.  almost makes you wanna get it anyway.

Or what about putting something somewhere where you know you wont find it in forever.  but you put it there anyway.  Like today.  I love those free itunes songs cards you can get from starbucks.  I got one today, and put it in the back pocket of my pants (that i hardly wear) with this exactly thougth going through my head "i wonder how long it will take me to find this card again....hmmm". 

OR that random cute store.  You always walk past it and make a mental note to stop there someday.  But why not just stop there now?  You're obviously not in that much of a hurry, because you are walking, but still you pass it and put it on the back burner. once again. 

why do we do these things i wonder.... or maybe i only do them. hmmmmmmmm.

PS

I forgot almost the more important part...which may have been the reason for the post, on the way back while counting cop cars i saw something....two of something that completely made my day. TWO left4dead2 billoards. Magical.

Trip to Casa Grande

Another one of those day trips to Casa Grande. The whole drive there i'm too tired to think of anything so i just listen to the "new hiphop (96.3 todays best hiphop and R&B)" on the phx stations. its that or the mexican music...which isnt too bad. Changing the station of course to country music as soon as i hit Casa Grande limits, becuase not doing that is like driving up the coast of California and never stopping to let your toes sink in the sand. But speaking of hiphop music I thought i had seen it all. I thought Lil Wayne had paired up and made a duet with everyone possible. but SOME HOW i forgot Fergie-ferg....how this one slipped my mind still puzzles me... and funny how the knew sound effect of choice in hip-hop music is the air horn often heard at basketball games.... ?
There is something about this doctors office that always gets me. The way his orange-vanilla flavored gloves (which freaked me out at first till i remembered he's an orthadontist) really smell like the best sunscreen you can imagine. He whistles to every country western song that comes on without missing a beat. Asks every patient about their life, remembering details. "He there mike, so this saturday is your last soccer game eh?" Randomly taking the phone from one of his latino patients to talk to their parent speaking in complete fluent spanish. Each chair with its own movie, so i can watch The Little Mermaid over and over again in one day..... And then there is the "blue" room which his wife apparently decopaused (cant spell) with pictures from his family's scuba diving trip. Normally you would think "wow way to rub your money in our face" but 80% of the pictures are of the intreaging sea animals which makes the xrays and pictures much more relaxing. Somehow though I always leave this place in the worst mood. Like he has done everything right, over the top even, i'm not even paying that much yet I never get news I like to hear. I'm sure there will be only one time i leave this place estatic, and that will be close to the last time i visit.
The drive back is usually the time to reflect on my life, think about how it would be if the world, for once, was in perfect harmony with all its living things. or choreograph of course. Not this time though, as i sat in "rush hour" i decided to dance in my car and count cop cars. There were 14 by the way, from casa grande to Flagstaff all of which had someone pulled over. Except one, who was riding BY HIMSELF in the carpool lane at 4 in the afternoon. Sorry...but you are not exempt to the rules unless there is an emergency and you are flashing your pretty red and blue lights. After i got out of rush hour, which turned out to really be one car pulled to the side becuase of a flat tire, i zoned back into choreography mode. t'was an eventfull trip which led me to come home, change and rush straight to dance, then back home for too much homework causing me to skip out on my first class.....and second. :O oh well, i'm coninvinced i wouldnt have learned much anyhoo....now that i'm done i'm not really sure where i was going with this blog.... but no backing down now. Post! vedo if you'd like.